Monday, January 30, 2006

The Path

This picture is the visual of my out of the darkess journey

Out of the Darkness

I am so blessed to have true friends that can encourage me no matter how many oceans separate us. I’ve been struggling to love who I am in Christ and not desire to compare myself to others. It’s uphill, but the climb is growing sweeter. The bittersweet weeks of December and January have melted into a meadow filled with the flowers of courage, refuge, and hope. I cried out and He answered, I am safely home and comforted. Gone is the loneliness that is lies and deception in the forest where sunlight rarely reaches Currently I am somewhere in the meadow looking towards the son. I think life is a series of dark times and light times. The darkest hours of in the deepest part of your soul serve to act as a counterforce for the life that Christ fills with joy. It is because of the climb through the brambles and tangles that the growth is sweet, the air is fresh and the bright hopes of tommorrow are filling the sky.

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Seeds, Patience, and a little fruit

So, those who know me, know patience isn't exactly my biggest strength. In fact I struggle with it in so many ways. I hate lines, I dread those recipes that have me doing nothing for extended periods of time. In fact although I can cook gourmet meals, I had to have help cooking Rice a Roni the other night. It may be the San Francisco treat, but the part where you wait for the rice to brown drives me insane. (This is leading somewhere). This last week at church we were given charge of a sweetpea seed. I have cup, seed, soil, and water. It sits on my window sill where it can get light. Now I must wait. There it is the patience. I was looking into it a few minutes ago and wondering, anticipating, hoping to see just a tiny inkling of growth and change. Yet there is nothing. I knew there would be nothing, but yet the hope is still there. So there it is another practice in patience. Still there is a point to the seed as it is an analogy for my spiritual growth. I must be in the right place, surrounded by the right things, and then wait on the evidence of change in my life. That isn't wait on change, but waiting on the fruit.
This last week I learned lessons in leadership and worship as I spend 52 hours with 3 adults and 9 middle school students while attending a youth conference on worship. I look in anticipation to the differences my changes and new outlook will create in my life and eventually in the life of others. So I desire results now. I love the immediate. I'm probably a one marshmallow type of gal, but oh I desire the ability to wait for the two marshmallow option. My mind needs more patience as I grow. Patience as I strive for something more than mediocrity.