It is a burden, both tangible and figurative. It stems from an object lesson on Sunday. I began carrying it not because I wanted to, but because if the students were going to, I knew I ought to or I'd have to share that next Sunday. I'd carried a marble and a rock before with the same lesson. Surely I'd learned it and would just be going through the motions. Yet, God moves in mysterious ways. See my reflection from the first three days of the Rock in my pocket.
Sunday: I am trying to decide just what specific burden my rock would represent. Jeremiah said it is not good enough for it just to represent burdens, we must personalize it by naming our burden. My rock represents my need to not let structure, rigidity, and unflexibility reign in my life. While structure, rules, and plans are important aspects of life, they are not the sum of life. When I am flexible and practice the art of going with the flow, I have such an enjoyable time. Disneyland- fun time, family camp with Joanna- fun time. So, why do I have so much trouble relaxing, and letting things just be as they may. I think this is what my rock should represent.
Monday: The rock is heavy. I carried it all through work today in my pocket. It weighs on my and I wonder if it will bruise me. Do I really need to carry my rock on the hike? No, I think it can stay with my cell phone, in the car. With Jason I am flexible, he leads, I follow, wherever the wind may take us. I often wonder how far in advance his brain plans. spontaneity seems to come natural to him. I plan and list and structure nearly everything.
Tuesday: They rock is still with me. I'm starting to feel the metaphor on a deeper level. The physical burden in my pocket has become part of my life. I know that they weight is there. I have begun to compensate for it, working around it, taking it out and sitting it in front of me while I type, carrying it down the hall to check mail, wearing pockets to accomodate for it's small potato sized mass. I think we do this with the internal burdens. We carry them until they appear comfortable. We get used to the figurative limp. We adjust our schedules and paths to compensate for the burden. After a while the burden is integrated into our life so intricately, that we have a hard time releasing it. Will I miss my rock come Sunday?
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1 comment:
Wow- a lot of food for thought here. I liked Tuesday's reflection about assimilating the burden into your life and how it becomes a part of you. I really liked these thoughts; they made me reflect on my own life and an image came into my mind's eye...a sort of Quasimodo figure with a burden that has fused onto it and deformed it...Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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